The 3 "P"s of a lasting and fulfilling marriage

This weekend I had the priviledge to witness Aaron and Jaqueline's wedding ceremony. Not only to witness, but to be the officiating minister.
I shared 3 building blocks that I am still learning to grow a strong, fulfilling and lasting marriage. The 3 "P"s are:


1. Prioritize each other consistently

• There will be lots of other factors involved work commitments, extended families and friends obligations, church and hobbies involvement but we need to prioritize each other consistently above all.
• Your spouse is now the most important person in your life. Even when the children comes
• This union will be the center point of emotional support and decision making.
• It takes hard work to prioritize each other's needs but it's well worth it.

2. Pardon each other constantly

• I was told that to build a long lasting marriage, both needs to learn to be a professional forgiver.
• The most powerful 3-word-phrase before marriage is "I love you" but the most powerful 3-word-phrase in a marriage is "I am sorry". (which a lot of men mistaken it for "I am hungry"). Don't sweep conflicts under the carpet. Saying sorry breaks down walls.
• To forgive does not mean the other person is right, but it's saying that you are choosing each other above the disagreement and the arguments.
• Guess the saying is apt - When you are wrong, admit it. When you are right, shut up. Pardon each other constantly!

3. Pursue each other continuously

• One of the most common thing that happen after a couple gets married is that they stop pursuing each other. They stop learning to understand and discover each other and to win each other's heart. They began taking each other for granted. The men stop being a gentlement and the women start nagging.
• Phrases like "Dear, where do you want to go for dinner" are replaced by "Eh, what's for dinner?"
• Encouraging words are replaced with silence, and quality time by TV drama series.
• I have learnt so many new things about my wife ever since we got married (not because she was a good actress when we were dating) but we continue to talk deeply, to understand each other's feelings, thoughts, frustration and dreams.
• Learn to communicate at a deeper level, both emotionally and intellectually.
• Go on weekly date. Spend at least 30 minutes daily talking to each other. Continue to be romantic, encourage each other, pray for one another. Pursue each other continuously!

It was such joy to see them through the journey and see them embark on their next stage of life. Congrats!