Crayons Crayons on the Walls

"Draw?" Kristen would say, pointing to her little crayon "art work" on the walls of my house (all below 3 feet height). "No-no" she would then say shaking her index finger, indicating her parent's constant commandments on drawing on the walls. I would then ask, what would daddy do? She will then slapped her hand with her other hand, mimicking the discipline for the cost of disobedience.

Honestly, I don't really mind about the random scribble stains on various parts the wall. But what I enjoy is the relationship that I am having with my daughter over these stains. She could point out her past disobedience without guilt, knowing that she has been disciplined and her father loves and accepts her all the same.

I was reminded too of our stains in various seasons of our lives. But what was even more heartfelt was that our relationship with our Heavenly Father is more precious to Him than our stains, which has been paid for, when we come in humility for forgiveness. No more condemnation. Of course, we still suffer the consequences of our wrong-doings and from time to time, we need to endure God's discipline. But then again, God only disciplines those He loves and accepts as His children.

Hebrews 12:4-5

... My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline and do not lose heart when He rebukes you. Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son

The 3 "P"s of a lasting and fulfilling marriage

This weekend I had the priviledge to witness Aaron and Jaqueline's wedding ceremony. Not only to witness, but to be the officiating minister.
I shared 3 building blocks that I am still learning to grow a strong, fulfilling and lasting marriage. The 3 "P"s are:


1. Prioritize each other consistently

• There will be lots of other factors involved work commitments, extended families and friends obligations, church and hobbies involvement but we need to prioritize each other consistently above all.
• Your spouse is now the most important person in your life. Even when the children comes
• This union will be the center point of emotional support and decision making.
• It takes hard work to prioritize each other's needs but it's well worth it.

2. Pardon each other constantly

• I was told that to build a long lasting marriage, both needs to learn to be a professional forgiver.
• The most powerful 3-word-phrase before marriage is "I love you" but the most powerful 3-word-phrase in a marriage is "I am sorry". (which a lot of men mistaken it for "I am hungry"). Don't sweep conflicts under the carpet. Saying sorry breaks down walls.
• To forgive does not mean the other person is right, but it's saying that you are choosing each other above the disagreement and the arguments.
• Guess the saying is apt - When you are wrong, admit it. When you are right, shut up. Pardon each other constantly!

3. Pursue each other continuously

• One of the most common thing that happen after a couple gets married is that they stop pursuing each other. They stop learning to understand and discover each other and to win each other's heart. They began taking each other for granted. The men stop being a gentlement and the women start nagging.
• Phrases like "Dear, where do you want to go for dinner" are replaced by "Eh, what's for dinner?"
• Encouraging words are replaced with silence, and quality time by TV drama series.
• I have learnt so many new things about my wife ever since we got married (not because she was a good actress when we were dating) but we continue to talk deeply, to understand each other's feelings, thoughts, frustration and dreams.
• Learn to communicate at a deeper level, both emotionally and intellectually.
• Go on weekly date. Spend at least 30 minutes daily talking to each other. Continue to be romantic, encourage each other, pray for one another. Pursue each other continuously!

It was such joy to see them through the journey and see them embark on their next stage of life. Congrats!

Latest Family Pics

Just realised the last time I updated was a few days after Shane was born. Now, he's in his fifth month. Things are more settled now :)

Baby Shane ...

Well, life just got a whole lot busier past week with the arrival of our second child - Shane. Thank God for safe and normal delivery. Wife and baby boy is settling and recovering well at home. Guess it takes a while before it sinks in that now that I'm a father of two as I'm still feeling like I'm a new clueless father.

Pictures to come soon.

Temporary Home

Life's been a bit crazy with some transitions and adjustments in life. My wife showed me a song and music video today. Thought it was a great song and it was ministering as well.

Enjoy the song. (Ps : i don't usually post songs btw)




Little boy, 6 years old
A little too used to bein' alone.
Another new mom and dad,another school,
Another house that'll never be home.
When people ask him how he likes this place...
He looks up and says,
with a smile upon his face,

Chorus:
This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know this is my Temporary Home.

Young mom on her own.
She needs a little help, got nowhere to go.
She's lookin' for a job, lookin' for a way out,
Because a half-way house will never be a home.
At night she whispers to her baby girl,
"Someday we'll find our place here in this world."

Old man, hospital bed,
The room is filled with people he loves.
And he whispers don't cry for me,
I'll see you all someday.
He looks up and says,
"I can see God's face."

This is our temporary home.

I slided down the Mc Donald's 6 feet high tube-slide

I never imagine I would be sliding down a 6-feet high winding tube-slide in Mc Donalds' playland. But that's exactly what I, a 31 year-old 5' 10" man did last Sunday.

I was holding my 18-mths old daughter little hand and watched her as she climbed up the steps in IOI mall Mc Donald's playpen last sunday during lunch. As she climbed higher, I had to remove my shoes and follow along ... planning to bring her down eventually. One step led to another ... before I knew it, we were at the top of the play pen ... staring down into the dark 6 feet tall tube-slide. As I was positioning myself to turn and carry her down (the ceiling was low), Kristen took 2 steps forward and lean into the tube. I knew that was the point of no return. I could decide to let go of my grip of her hand and let her discovery what pain means ... or I could tighten my grip of her hand and plunge along into the slide with her. I chose the latter, of course. Tightening my left hand grip on her right hand and trying to slow down the pace of us sliding down with my right arm, we managed to get down safely (apart from the scratches and slight bruise on my right arm trying to defying gravity). Horrified yet relieved, I looked around hoping no one I know witnessed that 'event'. Kristen looked like she's ready for second round! I took her back to mummy.

Somehow while sliding down with my daughter as a father trying to be with her to ensure safety, I was reminded of our Father in heaven. His promise when He said "I will never leave you, nor forsake you". When he said "I will be with you, till the end of time" over and over again throughout the bible. If I did that for my daugther, how much more the extent of God will do for us.

Truth is, in life we will go through some turbulence. We may feel like we are sliding down - emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentality ... but we can be sure that God, our Father is always there for us. Even if it means a bruised arm. In fact, it was more than a bruised arm for Him. It was a torn back, grazed forehead and pierced hands. Just so that He can always be with us. Next time you visit Mc Donald play pen, go ahead and try the slide :)

I learnt a new phrase ...

I learnt a new phrase over the last weekend. Was flipping through the Time magazine and was reading an article on Facebook story; when a picture of FB's office with the banner of THE Phrase caught my attention.

Go Big or Go Home!

This has nothing to do with upsizing your burger, but everything to do with attitude and vision.
According to urban dictionary.com, it means
"an expression the speaker says to the listener to encourage the listener to be extravagant, to go all the way, and do whatever you are doing to its fullest - and not flake out. abbrev. by gbgh!"

How true. How many of us will do things half heartedly at times? Doing just enough to get by. Or giving up whenever the first sign of road bump appears. If you want to do something, or pursue a dream, or start a multi-million corporation, start a blog-business, or pioneer a Life Group, follow Christ, or set up a charity home, or take up photography, skiing or whatever ... give your utmost best, otherwise don’t bother. reach out to your fullest potential, otherwise don’t even start. Save yourself the time. To think and dream big, otherwise don’t dream at all.

I learnt a new phrase last weekend. say it together now ... GBGH! :)
(btw, there's already a book written on this phrase)

Simply Serving

As I was driving to my weekly tennis session and with a mind just thinking about the happenings this week ... I was suddenly reminded of what Jesus said on the cross. After 3 years of faithfully and sacrificially teaching, healing and serving the people and pouring out his life to the disciples ... and all he received in return was the Cross. And some flogging, mocking and spitting on the face to go with it.

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." - Luke 23:34

It dawned upon me that the reason why He could say what He said was because He did all that He did unconditionally. He taught, healed and served ... without any expectation of being rewarded nor acknowledged. No strings attached. No signs of being motivated by the acceptance or appreciation from the people served. No expectation of a thank-you note/ sms, or card or birthday wishes, or people to come to His aid when He needed (after all, He came to theirs when they needed Him). He served because He chose to (out of love). Period.

I think we could do ourselves a huge favour if we too, learn to serve in the same attitude - without expectation and without an indirect need to be appreciated. We will save ourselves a lot of heartache when there's unmet expectation. We will not be caught in a self-pity conversation when people we serve don't meet our level of positive response. Or when no one came to our aid when we need or no 'thank you, you are the best' post on our facebook wall. We serve, because we choose to (out of love -for God and for people). Period. Unconditionally. When we deny ourselves at times to serve, that's the ultimate sacrifice. Don't let unmet expectation rob you the joy of simply serving because we choose to.

(Note: I am in no way advocating a non-appreciative culture. In fact, we need to acknowledge and appreciate those who serve us or others. It's just that Serving people or serving in ministry is for the long haul. Too many times serving attitude is killed by unmet expectations).